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    So what on Earth does she want? Is she just using me to make him jealous and step up?


    We’re at a party right now, and she isn’t doing anything. Nothing like Friday night.


    She must be using me right?


    Thanks for being undertanding @TeaK

    I’m trying to play it cool and all, but I won’t lie, it is kind of hard.

    I accept they’re sleeping together, I accept they’re going out on dates, and there’s nothing I can nor will do about it, because at the end of the day, it’s her choice whether she wants to leave him or not.

    I’m actually half-expecting they’ll stick together, and she’ll probably tell me to back off – which I will.

    The reason I think this is because: 1) He chose to come despite her telling him she’s “met someone”; 2) (Not sure if he knows or is suspicious of) We’ve slept together many times and gone on dates; 3) Based on 1 and 2 he clearly wants to make it work.


    So all I can do, is wait until he goes back and see what she has to say about it.  If she sends me a text, or tells me verbally, that she wants to stop – we’ll stop.

    If she sends me a text saying ‘Hey, how are you?’ or anything along those lines, I will ask her to meet up and continue what we’re doing.


    I’ve told her I’m only into something casual, though, so she must know it.


    Other than all that, there’s nothing else I can do.


    @don @TeaK @Anita


    Thanks for alll your posts so far.

    I have been dishonest with you all, and I apologise. She has a boyfriend.

    He knew who I was and my name as soon as she told him she had “met someone”.

    He has still travelled to see her and has been here since Thursday last week. He’s here for 2 weeks, so will be leaving on the 17th (roughly).


    There was a party last Friday, and she was all over me – flirting, touching me, laughing, chasing me around the flat… right in front of him.


    I’m really sorry for not being honest with you from the start. As you can tell this is a really complicated situation.



    Thanks @anita,


    Yeah, and that’s why I don’t think there’s any need to be texting all day and everyday.

    I won’t lie, I was wondering if I should not send it to her, but I thought what the hell, it won’t hurt, and her reaction said it all.


    @anita and @teak

    So recently she mentioned indirectly that I don’t text her too much.


    So I decided to write a note reading “Thinking of you. Have a nice day” and slipped it under her door.


    A couple hours later she came to my door and asked if it was from me, and she hugged me and said “That was so cute”. I could tell she was really happy, she had a big smile and was blushing.


    It’s so effortless…


    @anita and @TeaK

    I don’t think I should doubt her feelings anymore, I’ve been an idiot:

    Last night we slept together. Afterwards she ended up telling me she’s “never felt this much pleasure before”.

    Really magical moment because I’ve never heard that from anyone before. Things are so bliss between us, so effortless.

    Also it isn’t the first time we’ve thought of at the same time. It’s a strange feeling.


    You’re definitely right TeaK,

    I left my coworker and went to sit next to the girl I’m dating.


    She’s gone to the beach with some mutual friends today, I can’t go due to work and we spent almost all day together yesterday, so it’s best we have our space to do our own things


    Hey Anita and TeaK,

    So we actually went on the date yesterday, albeit a little later because we were recovering from a hangover. It went a bit pear-shaped because the bowling center was packed and even the staff couldn’t tell us how long we’d have to wait. So we grabbed some food and walked around the shopping centre. It was fun nevertheless, and there were a lot of cute moments:

    She was touching me quite a bit considering we were in public

    I’ve noticed my arms have gotten slightly bigger from doing 100 push ups a day, and she was touching them

    She rested her head on my chest when we took the tube back

    Bit of a jealousy moment from her too the night before… one of her flatmates is actually a work colleague of mine, and she’s rather flirty with me but I don’t see her that way. The girl I’m dating said “She’s quite close to you isn’t she?”.




    I told her a few days ago we’ll head for the date at 4:30pm.  I told her if she was still up for the date tomorrow, before our mutual friends organised the restaurant for tomorrow. That’s why I’m in a bit of a bad mood.

    I’m 26 and she’s 23


    Hey Anita,

    So some mutual friends wanted to go for dinner tonight, but a few couldn’t make it so they’ve organised it for early tomorrow evening.

    The girl I’m dating suggest 6pm and then 7pm.

    It kind of hurt because it kind of seems like she forgot we’re going out together from 4:30pm.

    This is why I think she’s just playing me. I want to stop overthinking but this is raise all sorts of flags now.


    Thanks again @anita,


    Yeah, I’m anxious, always have been and especially with girls I like. She has opened up to me to tell me she’s anxious too and overthinks. So you’re probably right, what she said shouldn’t be considered ‘red flags’.

    However the “I’m scared of you because I want you too much” really does bug me.

    Why is she scared? Why is she scared of me in particular?

    Is she worried I’m going to disappear on her or something?



    Thanks for the reply @anita,


    So she’s really affectionate in private, but not so much at all in public – that’s the hot and cold that I feel. Last night she sent me a message asking if I had finished work at 9pm… I didn’t see her message till 10pm because I finished late. I asked her to come round after I had my meal, and she asked if she could come now. She actually went to my room but I was in my kitchen…



    However, since she’s accepting my dates, I think I’m really over thinking this.

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