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ZenithParticipantThats so true. The hatred towards others is effecting me the most.
ZenithParticipantMy in laws are not that rich.In india the husband and in laws are considered more than a wifes family. Hence the mother in laws feel that they have control over their daughter in laws. I dont even have the choice to wear what i want. I should not wear shorts in front of my on laws. I have to dress certain way. Some indians are still regressive when it comes to a woman when compared to usa. I am ok with clothing but i hate the fact that i have to supress my personality in front of them.
ZenithParticipantSorry for the rant.
ZenithParticipantSometimes it feels like i have to reparent myself first when i am parenting my kid.I tell my kiddo others opinion doesnt matter and how people react is beyond your control.But its hard for me to follow.I have become so higly sensitive.
ZenithParticipantI dont suppress myself at home. Luckily I am pretty transparent with my parents and husband. I feel safe around them.Its just when i am with my in laws and co workers or with new people.I know it takes lot of practice to come out of that shell. Yeah its tiring sometimes.
ZenithParticipantLol.. May be i should zone out when they something stupid.Yeah i will probably stay home during the procession.It feels like for the past few years since i started talking to more people. I am always worried about other peoples emotions/opinions as if i am making them sad by saying no blah blah. May i have been like this for long i guess. Now i am trying to know more about myself thats when i realised i am a people pleaser.I dont talk to people when i am at work. I am always worried i would say something stupid so introverted. Its just same with my in laws. I supress myslef.
ZenithParticipantHey Anita. I am flying on friday. I still have time.Its just i was busy packing stuff during the long weekend.So i couldnt reply. Its just I am worried about peoples(in laws and relatives) judgement. I dont have the confidence to stand up for myself and be assertive. Lately i feel like i am living my life for others.I am a people pleaser.Due to this anxiety it would be hard for me to face peoples judgementin India. I fear i would get yriggered and get into that rabbit hole.The other big thing is my fear with procession of hindu gods. That would take when i am vacationing in India. I am worried that would trigger me.
ZenithParticipantHi Anita.. I am good. How are you? I have been thinking about you but then I forget to message you. I have never been so happy in a long time. We are going India next week for vacation. I was kind of nervous at first but I am so happy that I am gonna meet my parents after 5 long years especially my MOM.I also told my husband that i would be staying with my parents for most of the time so less drama. There is just one more week left so anxiety is acting up but I am still doing good.
ZenithParticipantI feel like its affecting our relationship. We have lot of disagreements when it comes to parenting. We both are losing our peace of mind because of her tantrums. Sometimes he takes out that anger at me and I take it out on him. It sucks.
ZenithParticipantI didnt read the whole paragraph yet Anita. I am not in the right state of mind. My little is one literally testing our patience. She cant take a no and literally cries for every small thing then says mean things like you are bad, mean and I dont like you. It really really triggers me. I told her multiple times its ok to be sad but dont use such mean words.
ZenithParticipantI exactly felt the same. I felt like i was throwing a tantrum like my kid. I felt like a kid stuck in adults body unable to control my emotions(ANGER).My little one does it all the time just throw a tantrum or have a breakdown when we say no.I just get angry when my husband does it other way. I have to put the technique in practice.
ZenithParticipantAnother case was diasgreements between my husband and I. I wanted to do something in a different way than he thought but still he did it in his own way that just made me angry.I get angry when things dont go my way.
ZenithParticipantLets say I was angry with my friend. When I calmed down a bit i thought about it. I told myself that i cannot control who my friend interacts with then i told myself i have to trust her and let it be.But the thought of losing my friend or losing control over her made me cry.
ZenithParticipantThanks for telling me the technique.Do I still do the same thing when I am angry with someone. Like talk to them later instead of that moment ?
ZenithParticipantAwe. You are a very good friend of mine. Even i felt bad when i deleted my account abruptly yesterday. I registered again today thinking about you then once I registered I saw your post for me on the other thread. Yeah I do experience intense amount of anger and frustration like no one understands or prioritizes me . Sometimes it reminds me of my father, I feel like I am behaving just like my father. He is a very short tempered person. Then I regret and cry about it.
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