When my mil was here in 2022 and then my bil’s family came here to stay with us for two weeks. At that time when I told you the same thing you said i was overreacting or I am not friendly to my mil. You told me that it might part of indian culture to give the elders special treatment. This time you are validating my emotions. I am just confused.

Hey Anita,
How are you doing?
I need your help in processing my feelings/thoughts ?
For some day I obsessed about moving back to India then started getting anxious about how life will be in India one I move back. I was able to get over this one.
The other thing that was bothering is how my mil favors my co sister more. I remember telling you about this while back.
My husbands elder brother family were there when we went to vacation last month. My in laws treated me nicely, there is no doubt about it. The only thing that I didnt like was she treated my bil and co sister were treated more special than me and my husband. They were given big bedrooms my little one would get so upset and she used to keep asking me this question. I let it go.
The other thing was whenever I bought something like jewelry she would expect me show it to her. Like if we brought something new I have to tell her and I dont like it because I dont get the same respect from her. I am fine as long my mil gives her special treatment but I am not ok with giving the special treatment.
Anyways I did what my mil said because of fear of conflict. Now i am obsessed about I should have said no to her.

Like you said, may be i have felt anxious about the present moment. But it was far better than feeling anxious about future.

Sometimes I am very nostalgic to my past like my childhood.I want to be a baby again and didnt have deal with this life alone especially the emotional struggles.
I have every comfort in US.

I dont know I just feel like moving to India since last year. My whole family is in INDIA and I dont have any friends here.

I want to take care of my parents in their old age.

US gives me the comfort and luxury. The only thing i miss about India is my parents.

Hey Anita,

I was pretty burned out because of my little one and I didnt feel like talking about parenting. Also, I went to India in the month of June and came back yesterday.
Even my parents/in laws saw how my little one was giving me a hard time.

Thanks for lending me your ear Anita.
My husband says I am way too strict.
I am gonna keep writing how I feel and what my expectations are from my kid and you tell if its too much.

I expect her to wake up on time. She goes to bed by 8.30 to 9.00 PM. I expect her to wake up by 7 now I changed it to 7.15 so that we can get ready and start by 7.45.-She throws fit most of the times until and unless something exciting happening at the school that day.
The school she is going to right now is 20 min away from home. So its like one hour commute and she said she is getting tired. So we applied to the same school but at a different location which is only 10min away.

I expect her to clean her room on every Saturday as its a clean up day in our home. She says its boring and mundane. When I ask her to put the toys back in her room, she used tell me to throw them in trash. I told her its not okay and she is wasting our hard earned money. Too many toys too much responsibility so lets keep it simple. we stopped buying toys altogether. I told her I would buy her only on certain occasions. Like Ramadan/her birthday. She still throws a fit but she is getting good at it. Also, when i invite her friends for play date i expect her to clean it up as its a team work. I set the play date and you clean up you toys. She says its boring and throws a fit again.

I expect her to eat dinner. When it comes to lunch we cook according to her preference whatever she eats like pasta, chicken nuggets, fish. But when it comes to dinner its always indian food. She throws a fit again saying its too spicy. I have toned down the spice levels for her. She doesnt taste it and says its spicy. It angers me when she wastes the food. I add hell lot of ghee in her rice to make it bland. Dinner time is a big struggle.

I always tell her to wash her hands when she comes home from school and put the lunch box in sink. Just to teach her responsibility. This is another struggle.

I expect her not to touch my things but she does it and broke my things in the past and one recently.

I expect her to be polite with me. She is getting frustrated now a days.

I did read your story on the thread. Yeah me too. I suppressed my needs/emotions as a kid as my parents never had the financial capacity/emotional maturity to meet our needs.

I always tell her its ok to be sad, upset, angry and use better words to express.

She has a hard time taking NO. My husband tells me that we are way too strict. I dont think so.

I am sorry I am just ranting. Its been a long time since i ranted here. This has been giving me headache since last night.