Hey Anita, How are you doing ? At first, it felt like I am so easy to convince. I cant stand by my own opinion. He did give reassurance that he will only give me thats interesting. I am seeing that in his actions right now.

I am gong through some health issues right now. This anxiety has really wrecked my gut. It gave me digestive issues and its getting worse. It has become worst for the past two years. I want to eat healthy but its getting hard to control my cravings especially the week before my periods. I feel lost. I have my period next week and I am feeling so depressed about it.

I feel so selfish because I text you only when I need something 🙁 I am even delaying my replies now a days. I am trying to handle my emotions on my own. But this health issue is really making me feel depressed.

I feel like I am in a better place now but then I have to battle this issue,. It sucks.

Hey Anita,Thanks for checking on me.I am good.How are you ?I was thiking about you today.I am very busy with my work now a days. I did hear/see about the hindu festival.Some things triggered me when I saw them online.But i was able to cope up.I didnt hear much about stampede.I saw videos like people polluting the river, men taking pics of women when taking dip in the river and there was some procesession of sadhus that scared me when i saw them.I was like why do people want to go when there are no proper facilities.Some people follow religion blindly i guess.Religion is a very big deal in India. Who am I judge to them so I just let it go.My ocd got triggered that i was judging the hindu religion so i dont bother about it much.Like i said, I was able to cope up.

On top of that my little keeps telling me that the neighbors daughter has more friends.I do have three friends and even planned a play date fduring holidays but she is never happy.

My boss is a good person. I would never deny that. He talks about mental health, work life balance and spending more time with family blah blah. As a manager he sucks. During the previous project he used to do the work all by himself instead delegating the tasks to the teammates. My teammate and I used to get frustrated sitting idle. when i asked for work at that time he told me that he didnt want to set me up for failure. when I asked him for this new role he told me the same thing. Sorry I am ranting again. Today he told me that they are the starting the interview process for the role. It triggered me again.

Yes. But my boss was unfair to me for the second time.I should probably move on to some other company.I cant work on something that is not fulfilling to me.I dont why I feel so hurt and anxious about this whole situation.He always underestimates my technical skills.Even my other teammate told me the same thing.He doesnt give work to her as well.Once she got frustated and angry with my boss.He takes the whole responsibility on his shoulders.

I am having a bad day Anita :(. I am here just to rant. Remember how I told you way back that how I am not happy with my current job. I have been telling my boss since Jan 2024 that I want to learn more technical stuff. I would always ask him for some interesting work but he would always give me thats already half done. I dont know why he is always hesitant about not giving me more technical stuff. Once he told me that he doesnt not want to set me up for failure. I was left with no work till August. We had a meeting in August I told him again that I wanted to do more technical stuff. Since September he told me to help the other teammate who was working on the other project related sql software. I started learning it and I picked it up pretty fast. I even helped my teammate with some of the stuff she is working on which he didnt know. He even appreciated about me about learning technical stuff in a different meeting. Now that the teammate has left the company. So the position is open. He didnt even ask me if I am interested in applying for that position. He directly put it up in the LinkedIn. I reached out to him asking him if I can apply for that position. He gave it a thought and told me no without even interviewing my skills. He straight up told me that I am not eligible for this role yet. He doesnt want me to directly put me in that position with no prior experience. He keeps telling me that I am not confident enough. I know I suck at my social skills. I am trying to work on . I feel so lost.

lol. It happens in my office too. So I wear layers and always have a throw on my chair. Yeah my neighbor invited us to the new party along with some other friend and we had a great time.

I have been really busy at office. Thanks to you for always listening to my rants. I forget to mention your name. Apart from my family  only you know my mental health struggles. I dont discuss my problems with my friends. My indian friends dont understand mental health issues so I dont talk about these issues to them. You have a really made a difference in my life by helping me navigate through some of my  toughest times of my life.