My boss is a good person. I would never deny that. He talks about mental health, work life balance and spending more time with family blah blah. As a manager he sucks. During the previous project he used to do the work all by himself instead delegating the tasks to the teammates. My teammate and I used to get frustrated sitting idle. when i asked for work at that time he told me that he didnt want to set me up for failure. when I asked him for this new role he told me the same thing. Sorry I am ranting again. Today he told me that they are the starting the interview process for the role. It triggered me again.

Yes. But my boss was unfair to me for the second time.I should probably move on to some other company.I cant work on something that is not fulfilling to me.I dont why I feel so hurt and anxious about this whole situation.He always underestimates my technical skills.Even my other teammate told me the same thing.He doesnt give work to her as well.Once she got frustated and angry with my boss.He takes the whole responsibility on his shoulders.

I am having a bad day Anita :(. I am here just to rant. Remember how I told you way back that how I am not happy with my current job. I have been telling my boss since Jan 2024 that I want to learn more technical stuff. I would always ask him for some interesting work but he would always give me thats already half done. I dont know why he is always hesitant about not giving me more technical stuff. Once he told me that he doesnt not want to set me up for failure. I was left with no work till August. We had a meeting in August I told him again that I wanted to do more technical stuff. Since September he told me to help the other teammate who was working on the other project related sql software. I started learning it and I picked it up pretty fast. I even helped my teammate with some of the stuff she is working on which he didnt know. He even appreciated about me about learning technical stuff in a different meeting. Now that the teammate has left the company. So the position is open. He didnt even ask me if I am interested in applying for that position. He directly put it up in the LinkedIn. I reached out to him asking him if I can apply for that position. He gave it a thought and told me no without even interviewing my skills. He straight up told me that I am not eligible for this role yet. He doesnt want me to directly put me in that position with no prior experience. He keeps telling me that I am not confident enough. I know I suck at my social skills. I am trying to work on . I feel so lost.

lol. It happens in my office too. So I wear layers and always have a throw on my chair. Yeah my neighbor invited us to the new party along with some other friend and we had a great time.

I have been really busy at office. Thanks to you for always listening to my rants. I forget to mention your name. Apart from my family  only you know my mental health struggles. I dont discuss my problems with my friends. My indian friends dont understand mental health issues so I dont talk about these issues to them. You have a really made a difference in my life by helping me navigate through some of my  toughest times of my life.

Hey Anita, I am doing great. How are you doing ? I was thinking about you yesterday. I have made peace with my friend and  stopped expecting from her. We still meet for the sake of our kids. I dont want to get close again and get hurt. We went to Disney last week and had a wonderful time. My husbands brother came over so my little had a great time with her cousin. My little one is so cute and full of life. Once I came home from Disney , the other day I was crying thinking about how my little is growing up so fast. I feel like the days are going by so fast once started going to school since last year. On the other hand I am worried about getting old, retirement and old age. I am still in my mid thirties lol. Just thinking how lonely it would be. My kid will move out. I I hate being alone because of my anxiety. I feel good when I am surrounded by people.

How did you overcome that empty feeling ?

Sometimes I want to relocate to a different house so that I dont think about her anymore. It  feels like a friendship breakup which hit me hard this time. I had 2 friends who ignored me like this in the past few years I got over them. I dont know why this one feels tough. I have only one friend left in the city. I dont trust her anymore I know she would do the same. I just dont want anymore friends. My husband is only my best friend that I trust now. He is the best and I love him. I am spending more time with my daughter and husband. But sometimes I feel so empty that we are just 3 of us and dont have friends to hang out with. That feeling is so weird. Then I look at social media and feel bad that how come people have so many friends.