Earlier I am ok with people not making me thier top priority and I accepted the fact people change over time. This time its getting hard to accept.I am just filled with anger

Based on my my experience some indian friends are emotionally draining. If i have to make new friends i have to invite thier families to home and cook food for them. I feel like making friends is physically and emotionally draining and I dont have time for the it.But I am scared pf being alone.

I am doing this. But still my thoughts havent stopped. Do you think this is OCD ? OCD always told me that I am never good enough. Now its saying that my friend has hurt me and she is not good enough. Like all the obsessive thoughts wont stop. I will be left all alone by this friend(lets call A). I have another close friend apart from my neighbor and let her name as B. Lets name the person who has hurt me as by ignoring me as C. Even B invited C to her home and she invited me too. B doesnt know about the things happened between me and A. I told her what has happend  and I rejected her invite politely. Now my brain is worried that B will get close to C and her group just like A did. They all will get close and I will be left with no friends. I dont want friends anymore. Before my daughter was born I used to enjoy my time alone at home and with my husband. I used to have zero friends and that never bothered me. I started making for the sake of my daughter and got used to it. Now it feels life without friends is empty.

Hey Anita…I am here again with a new obsession. I know I spoke about this friend in the past.She is my neighbor like how we used be so close before going out together as always.Now she is with a friend who has hurt me in the past.Now she has a group of friends.Now she is really having a good with her new group of friends.My mind cannot stop  obsessing about how she has changed.She hangs out more with them now.I just have two friends the neighbor and the other friend.Sometimes i am jealous of her hanging out with such large group of people.I know she still cares about me. But the jealousy and fear is overpowering.I want to let go and still be friends with her because my daughter and her daughter are best friends.I dont want to ruin thier friendshi.But its still hard to accept the fact how my friend has changed.The NEW her.She is close with a friend who has hurt me in the past.She has her own set of friends whom i dont like.It feels like we have grown apart but i still have to put a happy face when i meet her because she is my neighbor.I get jealous or get triggered when she hangs out with other friends without me.How do I tackle these feelings/emotions instead of running away from it.I want to let go of this hurt.When i was in India I didnt have to think about all this shit because my mother is like my best friend.Now i have to maintain these frienships  because I am in a different country.That makes feel like going back to India.lol.

Thanks for the advice Anita. I will take it one day at a time.

Hey Anita.. Thanks for checking. I am feeling bit better now. Its just I am frustrated with my job. Like I said before I am not satisfied with my job. I did tell my manager about taking new challenges. He promised me that new project will start soon and that will be challenging. But when I came back form vacation everything has changed. My manager will be still working on the existing project and i will be left with little amount of work. That just made me angry. Its been two years I dont see any growth in my career. I want to try a new job. But it would be hard for me to go through the interview process again because of my social anxiety. I want to take up new job and excel in my career but I am unable to do so because of my anxiety. It just sucks.

I started feeling anxious the moment i entered home. I was always surrounded by family members  in India so its so quiet and depressing here. My brain started telling me that i felt less anxious in India and its more lonely here. So I am worried about if I should settle here or go back to India and take care of my parents. How will i survive this anxiety when i get old ? I am in my mid thirties lol. My brain started getting worried about future.

I am getting used to it. But my anxiety is acting up.