I am also in the same place – it’s been three months and I still think about him constantly even though we don’t speak or have any contact. I ran into him unexpectedly last weekend and I had a huge panic attack. Some things you can do that might help ease the pain:

– Write him an “unsent letter”. Get everything down on paper as if you are speaking to him. Be brutally honest. But then destroy the letter instead of sending it to him.

– Meditate! That really is the answer to pretty much all emotional turmoil.

– Maybe stop dating for awhile – just a month or two. If you’re really not over your ex then you’re just going to compare all guys you meet to him, and it’s not really fair to the men if you’re pursuing a relationship with them that you’re not ready for. Not dating also gives you time to connect with yourself and rediscover some interests and hobbies that you may have been neglecting.

– Exercise and focus on your health. Not only does it boost your mood and keep you busy, but it also makes you look better!

– Remember that your feelings are completely normal and valid. And as the others have said, you are absolutely not the only one who goes through this.

Time is on your side!! 27 is such a great age and men in their late 20s/early 30s begin to mature and think about settling down more. One of my good friends is 30 and she just got engaged to a man she’d been dating exactly a year (he proposed on their 1-year anniversary). A year ago she spent Valentine’s Day alone and was feeling exactly like you are, and now she’s engaged! Anything can happen in a year.

Also, 35 is such an arbitrary cut off for having kids! My mom was 42 when she gave birth to me. Some women in their 20s find out they are infertile. And you can always adopt if you find out you can’t have children! Don’t worry so much over something you have no control over and which is so far down the road.

TO answer your original question – YES it is possible to live a happy, fulfilled life as a single woman. Do you know any women who have stayed single and child-free by choice? Try to get out and meet some. Life is not bleak if you stay single.

Yes, absolutely physical exercise. It’s the best way to get out of your head, make you feel better about yourself, and help you sleep better at night afterward. You can also throw yourself into a project – cook a big meal, start a jigsaw puzzle, do some home improvement, clean your closet…

I also find listening to podcasts is good. Try Dear Sugar Radio if you want some advice and commiseration, or Radiolab for something more educational.

Therapy helps if you can afford it and it’s accessible to you. Talking to friends/family helps but it’s not quite the same as having a professional you pay to listen to you and who won’t get tired of you. I’ve found that if I complain too much to friends or family and they start to burn out on me then I feel even worse. They also don’t always give the best advice.

Journaling helps – schedule 30 minutes every day to write out all your thoughts and feelings. If thoughts come up outside that window you can tell yourself you need to wait until the scheduled time.

Also you can try to write a letter to your ex who you are hung up on (don’t send it!!). Get everything out that you wish you could say to him/her. Say what hurts, what you’re confused about, good memories you shared, lessons you learned. Then burn the letter or throw it out.

Hi Heartbroken,

I’m in a similar position and am about to write a post soon. You have to try not to get wrapped up in something that is pure fantasy. Do you know for sure he is on a date? Why imagine him on one if it causes you so much pain? You are literally creating this pain out of thin air – there is no basis in reality.

As I mentioned I’m in the same position, so I am not judging or criticizing you. It might help if you imagine YOURSELF on a date with some new guy (not with him!!). And as Anita said, don’t contact him!! When you feel an urge to text him just go do something else for an hour – go to the gym or take a long hot bath or start reading a new book. When you’ve finished that activity the urge hopefully will have passed. Or if you want to contact him, imagine how the interaction will conclude. Most likely it will not end in you getting back together and it will only cause you more pain, so try to remind yourself of that.

I know how incredibly hard this is. I’m in your shoes now and I’ve been here a dozen times before. It will get better, but only if you give yourself physical, emotional, and mental distance from him.