“You change your life by changing your heart.” -John Porter
I’m addicted to new and different.
I’ve been like this all my life. In my mid-20s, I toured the United States with marketing companies, in large part because everything was always new.
New cities. New work venues. New yoga studios. New restaurants. New hotels. New beds. New people. And I thought, a new me in each new environment.
It felt much easier to be present in my daily life when my surroundings and circumstances were constantly changing.
If ever there was something that weighed on me, I could metaphorically leave it behind with the heap of towels on the bathroom floor. If I ever did something I wasn’t proud of, I could release my negative feelings like exhaust from my rental car as I fled one town for another.
I thought of this the other day I explored my new apartment community, where my boyfriend and I will move at the end of the month. This is my seventh home since moving to California four years ago.
In my defense, I’d had valid reasons for changing apartments each time—from moving closer to work, to downsizing, to cohabitating. But there’s no denying the excitement I’d felt with each massive change.
Change can be seductive, particularly if you’re hurting, or feeling frustrated, and looking for a distraction.
Change can create the illusion of progress where really there’s just resistance to doing what actually needs to be done.
Like sticking with a solid plan. Or sitting in the discomfort of an emotion. Or working on a strained relationship. Or challenging an instinctive response. Or recognizing what you really want to change, in your situation or in yourself.
It’s a big world out there, and there’s a lot to see, explore, and enjoy. It never benefits us to stagnate in a routine that’s only holding us back. But sometimes we need to ask ourselves: Do I really want big change, or is there some greater need underneath it?
Photo by iBrotha