“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” -Gary Zukav
The end of last week was a little tough for me.
I was waiting to be scheduled for surgery, knowing it could fall anywhere within the next three months. I was realizing I will soon have thousands of dollars in medical and dental bills, between that, a recent mammogram to test another suspicious lump, and my eight cavity fillings.
I was worrying about disappointing my engaged sister who is expecting me to fly home soon for dress shopping, while also feeling overwhelmed about the three different sets of visitors I will be hosting in March. Lastly, I was dealing with some old issues that resurface every now and then, two decades after I first began addressing them.
On Thursday night, when my boyfriend and I were out for dinner, it took a Herculean effort to not break down in tears, which I knew would be embarrassing for him. I made it to the car and cried the whole way home.
Being the understanding, supportive person he is, he listened to me for more than an hour that night, and again on Friday morning when I started crying just minutes after waking up.
I don’t think I had a single thought that didn’t revolve around me, my discomfort, and my need to work through my feelings.
On Saturday morning, something occurred to me: I had been obsessing about myself and my circumstances, and my boyfriend willingly sat in that space with me, a source of nonjudgmental friendship and kindness.
What I had I done for him lately? Caught up as I was in my own drama, what effort had I made to be thoughtful—not in reciprocation, but just because I love and appreciate him?
So I emailed him at his work, offering to make our grocery run and then take him out to dinner. And I knew I brightened his day, the way he often brightens mine. Suddenly I felt a profound sense of relief, gratitude, and peace.
It wasn’t because I’d solved all my problems. It wasn’t because I’d made any major emotional breakthroughs. It was because I stopped focusing on those things, remembered how fortunate I am to have love in my life, and then put my love into action.
That’s the remarkable thing about love. It has an amazing power to heal—not just in the getting, but also in the giving.
Photo by kalyan02