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Tiny Wisdom: On Resisting Emotions

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

No amount of strength will change the fact that we are human, and to be human means to hurt. We won't hurt always, and we don't have to suffer endlessly, but we will feel emotions all through our lives.

Even if we become really adept at dealing with uncomfortable emotions, we will never completely transcend them. And would we even want to? The ability to feel the darkest of moments gives us the capacity to enjoy the lightest.

So I say lets stop fighting our natural duality. There's no reason to pretend you're smiling when you're crying silently inside. It's pointless to pretend you don't feel angry, annoyed, frustrated, exhausted, disappointed, disillusioned, or dissatisfied when you do. Sit there and feel whatever you feel. It has a lot less power when you let it go through you.

Only in experiencing and then taking power away from our emotions can we then let them go and move on.

What do you need to feel and then release today?

Photo by Kelp1966

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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  • Timaree (freebird)

    I think you are right that we need to feel and know what our emotions are. However, we do NOT need to pass our angst off to others. If you are in a public place then keep control of your emotions. Keeping control and not acknowledging them are two different things. So many people today think its just fine to be rude because they are just “being themselves” or letting their emotions free range. I don’t buy it.

  • Anonymous

    “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.” Helen Keller

  • Cat

    TImaree~I have to agree. I do feel that we need to be true and self aware by acknowledging what is going on inside; however, I do not feel that we have to wear it on our sleeve. The Gen Y seems to be all about the free spirit and verbalizing (a side effect social media!) every emotion..even when it is small and should be pushed aside. Verbalizing too much emotion can lead to a spiraling of more dramatic emotions that sometimes are unnecessary.

    “Only in experiencing and then taking power away from our emotions can we then let them go and move on.” I believe we can deal with some of this emotion in silent meditation–it’s healthy for our well being and gentle to the world around us 🙂

  • Hi there,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I read something today that I thought was insightful: there is a different between complaining and sharing feelings. Complaining is drowning in self-pity and obsessing over everything that seems wrong. Sharing our feelings is simply acknowledging what’s going on inside.

    I understand your point in suggesting we should “keep control of our emotions” in public. Learning to regulate emotions is a very good thing for us and the people around us! But I think occasionally we need to express our emotions publicly.

    Emotions don’t have to dramatic or embarrassing, and they don’t have to make other people feel uncomfortable or threatened. You can stand in front of a room of people and say, “This scares the hell out of me–but I am working through it” and inspire them to be honest with themselves. Expressing emotions and getting carried away with them are two different things.

    Thanks for sharing your insights! I appreciate it. =)

    Lori

  • Hi Cat,

    You make a valid point about emotion spiraling into other emotions. For me it seems that emotions are more likely to spiral into others when I keep them in my head. Something about communication a feeling in words seems to dull its effect. Of course silent meditation also helps. Perhaps it’s about balance–knowing when to express what we’re feeling so that we can understand it, and when to simply quiet our minds and release the need to understand.

    Thanks for commenting!

    Lori

  • Hi Cat,

    You make a valid point about emotion spiraling into other emotions. For me it seems that emotions are more likely to spiral into others when I keep them in my head. Something about communication a feeling in words seems to dull its effect. Of course silent meditation also helps. Perhaps it’s about balance–knowing when to express what we’re feeling so that we can understand it, and when to simply quiet our minds and release the need to understand.

    Thanks for commenting!

    Lori

  • I love the timing of this. I recently realized I’ve been so intent on being positive that I slapped a smiley face on top of my anger and disappointment, and of course, my anger and disappointment grew. I agree with your distinction between complaining and sharing feelings (in your comment) too. Complaining is going out of your way to feel negative emotion, like looking for them. Sharing feelings is just stating how you feel and not blaming someone or something for those feelings.

    Being present to how you feel gives it the energy it needs to move on. I feel much better since I spent some time to just really FEEL angry.

  • joanraina

    You are so inspirational! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I love tiny buddha!

  • Thanks for reading. I’m so glad you enjoy Tiny Buddha!

  • Jessica Opalinski

    This is soooo true. I’ve had an emotional week and by simply taking a short walk and simply letting the emotions flow without judging or trying to change them, theyve disappeared more quickly and I’ve felt more at peace with the issues bothering me.