“What we see is mainly what we look for.” -Unknown
Whatever you believe about people and the world, you will likely find proof to support it.
If you look for selfishness, you’ll find it. If you look for animosity you’ll find it. If you look for injustice, you’ll find it. If you’re invested in seeing the world this way, you can probably explain a lot of what you see with negative interpretations.
Conversely, if you look for good intentions, you’ll find them. If you look for loving gestures, you’ll find them. If you look for possibilities, you’ll find them.
Much of what we see is based on how we want to interpret things–whether we judge people or give them the benefit of the doubt; whether we play the victim or find opportunities in struggles.
So the real question on any given day isn’t why you’re seeing what you’re seeing; it’s why you’re invested in that interpretation.
Today if you find yourself clinging to a negative story about a person or situation, ask yourself: What’s the payoff in holding onto this interpretation? Does it make you feel right? Or justified? Or safe? And more importantly: How might you be able to improve your state of mind or situation if you chose to see things differently?
Photo by Sigi K
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people honor their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.