Dear emotionalyze:

The reason I don’t know anything about him being abusive to you, this guy online is the following: you wrote that he said that he wanted to use you. Maybe you were pushing him, and hard, accusing him of wanting to use you until he said to you in anger: “Yes! yes! I wanted to use you all along. Here, satisfied? You get your way!”

Maybe you accused him again and again of lying to you, and maybe he didn’t lie to you, but he got so sick and tired of being accused that he said: “Yes, I lied to you. I said this and I didn’t mean it. Here , you got your way again. I am a user and a liar!”

I don’t know the conversations, the exchange between you and him, the context in which he said that he wanted to use you and that he lied to you. So I don’t know.

It is my guess that at first, with this online guy, you were sweet and passive and enjoying his every good word. Then the suspicion and anger raised its head and you started throwing accusations at him, testing his statements, looking for lies.

You have lots of hurt in you for having been neglected and mistreated and for still, to this very day, not being seen and acknowledged by your parents, mother particularly. This hurt, unacknowledged by your own self, denied, clouds your thinking, is what I believe.

anita