Dear Sophia,

Like you I am very competitive academically and although I play sports and am good with them, my grades are better. I have often compared myself to other people thinking that I’m not as good enough as they are. I also find it hard to form close relationships with people because I’m always wondering what they think of me. In my school, I often see the valedictorians, athletes and the pretty and popular get all the attention while I tend to fade in the background. Most of the time when I feel insecure, I have a journal in which I will write down my feelings and meditate on them. I will ask myself questions like “Why am I feeling this way now? What has prompted me to feel this way? Does this feeling help me in any way? How can I release this feeling if it is negative?” Sometimes I find that it is easier to deal with words on paper than in your mind because it’s like putting the insubstantial into physical terms. Often times I will write about when I am feeling sad and often I use colors to help such as red for anger, blue for sadness and possibly yellow for fear. I will dwelve and figure out why I feel this way and then I will rip the paper or burn it and then bury the ashes. I find that journaling my feelings I can have insight on my thoughts and feelings, telling when I am happy or sad. Oftentimes I see a pattern between the times of happiness and sadness. I have realized the reason I am quite criticizing of myself is that I have also been told I am not pretty enough, strong enough or smart enough. I realize that when I see someone I dislike, I realize I never want to be like them and I take much precautions not to be like them that I lose myself. Yet, the limits that you let others put on you or you put on yourself as a result of others will only hinder you from being your true self. I also write down the talents I have, so I can remind myself of the special person I am. I think the most important thing is to spend time with yourself in self-reflection, to figure out what you really want and also to write down and keep track of your thoughts. Oftentimes our minds race with thoughts that we seem to be unaware of and if we write them down, we put them in a physical form that we can control. Remember you are a special person and always in control.