Anita,

You really have a gift for seeing through situations – even at the time it did feel a bit like he felt he was “doing the right thing” so to speak, and quickly launching himself head first into the whole thing as a way to ‘get rid’ of any ‘negative’ feelings he may have been feeling – feelings associated with his love towards me. So thank you for talking me through this, it’s been really helpful and it makes a lot of sense.

What I meant by my last line was this: his email was technically a response to an email I sent to him 10 days previously in which I said I felt that there was more than what met the eye to what was going on. I, at the time, didn’t think his parents were arranging his marriage, but I did feel they were pressuring him into doing things he didn’t want to do – stay in his home country, do a career he didn’t want to do etc. So I said this in the email and added that I felt the ex was an escape route – a way for him to avoid facing up to what was going on. I also added that he hadn’t faced up to something that happened in his past (unrelated to the ex) – it was slightly irrelevant to the rest of the email, but also relevant, as I felt it was contributing to what was going on.

I said that if I was right in my way of thinking, to get in touch so we could sort things out. I also added, though, if I was completely off the mark, to leave me alone so that I could get on with my life. In other words, I didn’t want a response from him because his silence would have told me all that I needed to know, and I genuinely meant that. Had he not replied I would have taken it to mean he was doing what he wanted to do and that was the end of it.

Hence why I was extra upset that he felt the need to send that to me – in my eyes, no response would have been better, as I already told him I’d interpret that to meaning that I was wrong or that he was okay doing what he was doing at the time.

Does that make more sense?