Hello again,

So you feel that it was his way of putting a mental closure on the whole thing? And that part of him believed what he was actually writing at that time?

The funny part is, I saw their wedding photos a few months back. I always assumed I would go to pieces if I saw those photos, but I didn’t feel anything. They gave me no emotional reaction and I realised afterwards it’s because in all their photos they look…I’m not sure what the word is. Like friends, and not even close friends at that. There’s no emotional warmth between the two of them like you see in photos of some other couples.

I know you can only tell so much from photos, but I do know our photos looked different. My friend said he blossomed with me and now he looks broken and spaced out. Is it possible he’s just numbed himself and is going through the motions? I just don’t understand how he can live such a lie and not crack – how do people do that? Is it even possible to do that? To convince yourself that what you’re doing is the right thing even when in your heart you know it isn’t?

Anyway thank you, your words really did help – and it was nice to ‘relax into’ the fact he loved me. I’ve been in so much pain for the last 12 months and I have to say reading your words helped me release some of that because what you said really resonated with me.

Regarding a new partner, I haven’t even thought about it at this stage. I still haven’t got my life back on track so I cannot even bring myself to think about seeing someone else. I still need to find myself a place to live, decide where I want to live etc. I do worry about being in a relationship again because I do fear trust will be an issue – I never in a million years ever thought something as crazy as this would happen to me and I have to admit it’s scared me to a big degree. But I’m hoping that once everything else starts to fall into place again that it will be less of an issue – I guess I just have to play it by ear.