Hello Hopeful33!

I went through a situation similar to yours (minus the moving part), so I know how difficult can be being in the same city where memories haunt you around every corner. Here are somethings I did that helped me cope:

1) Try to at least move to a neighborhood of the city that has the fewest triggers
2) Explore new clubs, restaurants, etc. that you never went to with your ex (I’m sure there are at least a few places that they didn’t want to go to or weren’t in existence last time you were there)
3) Forge new friendships (this not to say dump the old ones, but it can be helpful to have people who now know only the post-breakup version of you) – you’ll be less tempted to rehash “old times”
4) Remind yourself you have as much right to be there as your ex
5) Mentally prepare yourself for the possibility of bumping into any mutual acquaintances or the ex. You just want to have a game plan/script in your head ready. Top athletes visualize a successful race before they hit the track, down to what shoes they’ll wear. While you won’t necessarily have complete control of the situation should it arise, it won’t be as big of a shock to system since you’ve played it out in your head.
6) If you do have get emotional, forgive yourself and say, “OK, that happened…now I’m one step closer to being healed!” And let it go.

Hope those help! Based on what you wrote it sounds like you’re handling everything very maturely and with grace. Clearly the universe is calling you back to this city for a reason. If I were a gambling woman, I’d bet that this a step you need to take find peace and that you’ll soon recover your inner strength before you know it. The more you experience and do the more the old memories and feeling will be pushed out by new ones. Soon you’ll stop thinking of the place as “where I met (Ex’s Name)” but “where I met (new person) and did (awesome activity)”.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Miniature Bodhisattva.