Miniaturebodhisattva,

Thank you for this – very helpful, actionable tips!

Yes, I have no intention of living in the neighbourhood that we lived in together, and thankfully it’s slightly on the outskirts of the city, so I won’t have to pass by it every day or anything like that. I have zero reason to go there, so hopefully (at least initially) I won’t need to go through that. I know that will be very difficult for me, as we used to hang out at all the cafes there. Plus, from what I know, his office is nearby, so I’d definitely see him if I were to hang around long enough – something I wish to avoid.

And I love the idea of exploring new restaurants, bars etc. It was, again, something that I already had in mind. I’ve been away for two years now and that city moves fast, so it will be relatively easy for me to avoid the places that were ‘ours’ and frequent new, exciting places.

And I also love that you mentioned I should remind myself that I have just as much right to be there as him. You’re so right. At the beginning, I deprived myself of the opportunity to go back because the mere thought of bumping into him brought me out in a cold sweat. But now that I’ve healed a great deal I realise I have NOTHING to be worried about. If anything, given what happened in the end, how it ended, etc, HE should be the one worried about bumping into me.

I’ll have to think about what my reaction would be. For his friends, it would be rather difficult, as some of them weren’t very nice people so I wouldn’t mind blanking them – but then that gives the impression I’m hurt. For the friends of his that I liked/got on with, I guess I’d be civil, ask how they’re doing and walk on by quickly. I don’t want to give anyone the chance to bring my ex up, and if they do I guess i’ll just say “That’s all in the past now, so no point in talking about it,” and leave it at that. I really don’t want to get into any discussions with them about anything.

As for my ex and his wife. Hmmm. Tricky one. I don’t want to come across as hurt, but I also have zero desire to talk to him. I guess I’d just have to keep a smile fixed on my face and walk on by…

Any other suggestions?