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Reply To: My second chance in life

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#117767
Shipp
Participant

Dear VJ and Anita,

I address these comments to you both as a means of acknowledgment to your valued input.

I’m reading the Power of Now and I’d like to use this space as a means to formulate my own thoughts and understanding.

The section that I’m referring to comes from ENLIGHTENMENT: RISING ABOVE THOUGHT. It refers to our view of self, or ego, stemming from our thoughts and I’ve just realized some things:

1. My childhood was violent and explosive. A constant sense of walking on eggshells and fear of what may trigger the next parental explosion. I became extremely hypersensitive to choosing my words and actions carefully … but my thoughts were MINE. I gained a sense of power and control by being about to think whatever words I dare not say or daydream of how my life could be so much different, if only (insert here my idea at the time). My reasoning also included that “if I’m smart, then all the words you use to tell me how worthless I am won’t be true”.

2. Part of my current problem is that I got stuck inside my own head. It’s true that my view of life falls into the past or of what I’ll do tomorrow. I’m great at making plans and lists for things I want or need to DO but tomorrow is always in the future and sadly, I accomplish nothing today. I’ve developed a fear of bringing what’s inside my head into action of the real world. In my opening post, I even said that I realize that the time we are allotted may be short and I felt a sense of urgency to live, or in other words DO, and yet daily, I procrastinate out of fear.

I have much more to read and process but I’d like to use this posting board to work out what I’m learning about myself and my life. I welcome you both to share whatever comments you feel lead to share with me. I want to document my own growth and insights while also connecting with others who are either going through a similar journey or who have “been there, done that and here’s what I learned “.

~Shipp