Dear anita,

Reading your post brought tears. I’ve never heard the phrase ‘path walker’ but it hit me deeply. For so many years I’ve been trying. I started out trying to figure out how to deal with my circumstances. I then started trying to figure how to deal with my past. This lead me to trying to figure out my future. I now am beginning to figure out my ‘Now’. People in my life criticized me so much for my efforts. They never understood. For you to consider me a fellow path walker touched me. Thank you!

As I read other’s posts that touch on something within me, it’s like I recognize a barrier in front of me. As I open myself, in order to respond to them, I pass through that barrier. As I pass through that barrier, I have to face myself and this helps a small wound heal.

This is such a time of discovery and evolution for me. I have learned so much about myself by posting here and working it out. I’ve learned from your thoughts and insights. I’ve learned from what others post and by responding to them. All of this and Emmett’s condition has caused a shift within my family and how we interact with one another. It’s a strange sensation to be in the middle of this discovery and be fully aware and present while it’s happening.

I don’t know what part of the world you are in but I’m in the USA. Next week is Thanksgiving for me. I am humbled this year because I have so much to be truly and deeply thankful for. Do you remember in my first post I mentioned that I wanted a much deeper quality of life? I’m in the mist of experiencing that now and discovery more each day. The richness of acceptance by others, the amazing gift of understanding and forgiveness, the closeness that is developing with my family, finding a kindred spirit and fellow path walker… and so much more. I am humbly greatful.

Through the this process, I have been able to accept responsibility for the times when I have been wrong, find some forgiveness for myself and I’ve been able to forgive others who I felt wronged me. There’s a tremendous amount of peace in this process. I’m finally making the breakthroughs that I’ve wanted for a long time.

I realize that my thoughts in this post are scattered. The weather has turned cold and rainy so I’m curled up on the couch, in comfy sweatpants, with my dog sleeping. My daughter is curled up in her chair and we are watching TV. It’s a nice cozy day so my thoughts are floating around today. In this moment, I understand the difference between happiness and feeling true joy. Most people (myself included) say they seek happiness. I think it’s true joy that they are missing. Appreciation for the almost perfect moments that are present every day, if you are attuned to them.

Ok, I’m finished with my ramble for today, lol. I just wanted to capture these thought so that in time, when I need to, I can come back here and remind myself of all the blessings I have.

Until we talk again, take care

~Shipp