Dear Aexandra:

You decided to go back to the UK and give this relationship another chance. Your psychologist supports your decision and advised you to view it as an experiment.

My input: prepare NOW so to maximize the chances for the experiment to be successful.  There is work to be done now. If you don’t prepare and just let things happen as they will, the experiment is not likely to succeed.

If you do choose to prepare, will you re-read all the posts on this very thread, take notes of what may need to be done so to prepare? For example, as I suggested in my last post to you, make a list of “Imperfect Behaviors” on your part, a list of Wrong Behaviors on your part, and same listing for his behaviors. This will clarify in your mind what of his behaviors to tolerate once you live with him, what behaviors you are not willing to tolerate. Following that, discuss those with him and come to an agreement, so you are on the same page.

Then ask him what of your behaviors are for him to tolerate (Imperfect Behaviors) and what of your behaviors are not to be tolerated (Wrong Behaviors) and come to an agreement about those.

You can use this thread for the start of preparation, if you’d like.

anita