Hi sunseeker,

I think the thing to do is look forward. You don’t have to keep holding on to the past. You don’t have to hold on to this image of yourself. You could even forget about yourself. Focus on what you love and hope. You are only 36. You still have so long to meet someone to spend your life with.

If you are having trouble concentrating mindful meditation can really improve your focus. I think the trick is continuous stretches of sound. When we are actively listening we are present, but when stop listening we tend to sink into our own worlds, and if we don’t like ourselves, those worlds can become very dark. Try to find more ways to shine more light into that world. Awareness helps to do that.

Also, I wanted to suggest maybe going to churches and sort of “scoping out” the church for potential friends or partners. I know a lot of churches have those after-mass get together or monthly dinners. Even if you don’t meet a friend or partner, maybe someone will can introduce you to someone who would be a good match.