Hi Vic,

Maybe there is a balance in there. Maybe you can go to Ireland but in the meantime while you save to do that you can take a couple college classes to earn credits toward a career you want working in a job you love. Or if you don’t want to go back to college perhaps you can gain skills interning or volunteering to begin working up the career ladder in a job that doesn’t require a degree. I think the main thing is to focus on progress, on hope. You can create possibilities instead of thinking about the things you want to change. I like to make a list of things I want to change about myself, choose one, and then create a list of steps toward achieving that. Taking that first step can be a great feeling, and focusing on progress at the end of the day is a lot better than thinking about regrets or old memories.

Another piece of advice I thought might help is that our attitude shapes a lot of how we perceive the world. I used to go into social situations not really want to be there, but now before I talk to someone I try to remember to imagine your favorite memory or happiest thought. I noticed when my attitude is more optimistic, the world seems a little brighter, instead of adding all this darkness in when we linger over the past, which we can do nothing to change.