Anita, I am doing better today. I am holding on to especially one nutritional diet choice and even got out walking today. I am overlooking my goals today and wanting to enjoy the path more than the outcome. I really need to be persistant with that. I would like to repeat my thoughts to you about not being able to face the final obstacles that stand between me and my dreams. My will is there to a point.
Yes bullying has had a profound effect on my life. I have seen people who have bullied me grow up to have families while I have been left to survive. It’s not that I do not want others to have happy lives and have love in their lives…my question is what did they do to deserve that and what did I do to deserve to be alone? I guess the school I went to emphasized award…not that I didn’t want to do what was right just for the sake of it. I just never thought if I worked hard that I would ever be punished.
Idon’t know if I believe there is an “entity” making things happen to me. I am just trying to understand the numerous and I mean numerous, not one or two coincidences that seem to set me up for a fall. I was optimistic when I came out of my room at home, I was optimistic about starting school, I was optimistic when I joined in playing a game with my peers, I was optimistic starting high school, I was optimistic going into my twenties…my thirties…every time I get a new job etc. Every new experience I feel there is someone showing up looking me in the eye and saying umm “Who do you think you are?” “Don’t get too comfortable, you are not liked.” I feel like I have to be served humble pie just for thinking that I’m just as good as everyone else.
So I am just trying to come up with an answer as to why things always seem to fall into place to trip me up.
I want to apologize again for answering later than I said.
Thank you,
Lisa
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 