Dear Felita,

I don’t know why people refuse to give problems like these attention. People struggle with kind of inner turmoil constantly yet they are often ignored by others. I’m so sorry I took this long to respond.

You are not a bad person. Simply the fact that you are looking for help proves this. You don’t want to have these negative, self-centered thoughts so there is a part of you who is very good and hates to see you be like this. While I understanding the jist of what you wrote and what you mean, I want to clarify a few things and ask a little deeper to find a possible cause for these habitual thoughts.

1. Who was the person you had the non-mutual relationship with? Also, why do you say that it was non-mutual? Did you end it? Or did they?

2. Can you attribute your thoughts and behaviors to how your parents raised you?

3. How would you rate your self-esteem? High or low?

Just from what I read though, it sounds like you might be grieving over the loss of that person and it is affecting your energies in a way that makes you judging and callous. I hope you can feel better about this and I will do what I can to help.