Girl, I relate to everything you wrote. It’s like you’re talking about me honestly, almost all of it. I don’t even know how to start cause I have a lot to say. Btw, I’m 22.

In the past, I had a bf (my first ‘real’ relationship) that was … a mommy’s boy, idk. I hated that. So, my ex bf was meeting all my ‘standards’… like, he had no girls he talked to, he deleted his fb for me, things like these…He adored me, loved me…Before I decided to have a relationship with him I wasn’t sure what to do cause I wasn’t atttacted to him and didn’t like his looks that much (but I helped him become a better version of himself from this point of view) ..I accepted to be with him in spite of this, only because he made me feel important, adored, loved no matter what and because he listened to me in the sense that he would stop talking to someone if that was what I wanted….We had a lot of fights because I didn’t want him to go out with his friends…We were kinda long distance too.But it became a problem only after college or in the summer holiday cause he had to go back home…It’s a lot I want to share with you, I may even forget some of the things I wanted to say. The thing is I feel our situations are similar in a way and I understand you.

Now, back to a question you asked…it’s not even a thing of the right/wrong person…There is much more to it….When you stop obssessing over him ….you’ll still want affection…You can’t stop yourself from wanting that…It’s perfectly normal. And you’ll be like ‘okay, you can’t give me that and I’m not happy compromising like this and I think it’s better to break up”…not in a dramatic sense, you won’t be fearful or wanting to be with him no matter how unhappy you are…

The same as you,in my last relationship I just didn’t know what is right or wrong….because he got that idea that I’m always wrong thay he didn’t even bother with me anymore…he would never ever admit anything…and I just didn’t know when I have the right to be mad and when not..

He told me how my behaviour affects him…I read a lot of articles because I wanted to understand myself and to change… In my heart I knew I was unhappy but couldn’t let him go. Before our breakup, we had another kind of break up. We fought and he told me he realized that he’s better off without me and was so sure of his decision and I panicked so much, like never in my life and somehow I talked him out of it. From that moment….something clicked…and it kind of changed me.. but still it wasn’t enough. I learnt a lot of things from that relationship, it wasn’t something specific that I did to change (I’m still not perfect but I’m more…rational I think, and understanding)…It was a chain of events and realizations and feelings and much reading about this stuff…