Dear Cat:

You reignited my awareness of numbers- was awake this very early morning, looked at my phone and the time was 12:12, I thought to myself: this is getting unstuck from 11:11, or moving beyond it, leaving it behind. Can’t tell you more, that was the thinking then.

Regarding beliefs: you and I have enough in common to focus on, for as long as the two of us are willing. So much in common, as I see it, that there is not enough time and space to contain all that is in common.

Your experience at 6 years old, similar to many of mines, crying. I happened to pray to a god. No religious background. Prayed to a god in the sky, picked up this or that star and prayed to  it: help me! Help me! Or it was: help my mother! Save her life! Please, I begged, I think. There was no response. Never a response.

Another memory I had reading your last post: walking in Los Angeles, as an adult, outside homes looking from the outside at the families inside, oh, how I wanted to be there, by the fireplace, at home, any home, warm with those people there.

Regarding the third option I mentioned: the first option was being with my mother. The second was being with whomever crossed my path, or I crossed their path, randomly. The third is thoughtfully choosing who I spend time with and how. The third option came much later, way later.

I got to get off the numbers thing, not a good thing for me, was not, in the past. So no more numbers for me.

anita