Dear Mark,

How do you know though if it is unconscious behaviour or conscious, sorry i am just curious and love to learn. I actually really like what you said.. ”I don’t try to change them or expect them to change because it is unconscious.  I just decide whether it is tolerable for me to be around or not.”

I am bad for that, not that whomever i meet i want to change them, i have this Mother theresa complex where i want to help people, and if i dont succseed in helping them then i feel like a failure. I have helped all of my ex bfs..i know it must go back to my childhood, but i have always been this way. His behaviour for the past 3 years has been intolerable, but with each day that passes i think that my love and care for him will change him even though i know deep down this isnt so.

Blessings