I do feel like I am being “dumped”, but if history repeats itself, he will be back, meaning I suspect in a week or so, he will reach out to me with some type of innuendo, which will eventually turn into our getting together.  That is how it tends to work. He has been in and out for two years…

So yes, he is honest, but he also always leaves the door open a crack to keep me hanging on. He gives me some sort of carrot to keep my hopes up a little, like saying he has feelings for me and cares about me and wants to be with me after his divorce (in whatever capacity that may be). I feel like he wants to put the minimum in to see how much he can get.  I also do not understand how he can be in love with his wife if he has not made an effort to get back with her all the while having an affair with me.  He could have spent all that time he was spending with me pursuing her. I feel like he wants her now that she has said she does not want to work on things. He wants what he cannot have.

He talked about the fact that I had dated throughout these past few years and he did not. He did not understand why I “need” a man. I disagreed and said that I do not need a man, but rather am open to having a real relationship with someone and when he said he was not, I dated others to see if I could find someone who was also open to possibilities.  Therefore, it is not that I need a commitment, but, Anita, you are correct in that I do want a man who is capable of one should that be something that I ultimately want.

Last night he stopped by to pick something up and I guess to say goodbye. He came in and picked up the guitar, played me some music, then he laid back on me and we watched some humorous videos together. After two hours, I was thinking that maybe he just had a bad day the other day when he said he wanted to be alone during this time. He was not acting like a man who wanted to end things. And, this has happened before …he ends things then we continue like nothing happened. So after a longer evening, before he left, he reminded me he wanted to be alone now. I am so angry about that. I am angry that I allowed myself to get sucked into his affection and he ended up getting what he wanted before he confirmed that he was still moving forward. So, while he is honest, I feel like that was insensitive and playing with my emotions.