Dear abubin:

It reads to me like returning home from a very exciting party where the food was great, the music was wonderful, dancing into the night, smiling, laughing, feeling so good… and then coming home. The home feels quieter, sadder, more boring than ever before. And you want back to the party.

Except that this party, the relationship with Debbie, had a lot of fantasy in it, make believe. I suppose it is like going to a party and taking drugs that made you feel good. Problem with mood altering drugs (and fantasy thinking) is that they stop working, stop altering the mood as the brain adjusts and builds tolerance to the drug.

Look at your life as is, this very life. Try and see in it something you didn’t see before, something that is true to reality, but you missed it before. Nothing too small to see. Look.

anita