Yes, you are both spot on Mark and Anita. It has definitely been push-pull the entire time. And, I went along with it. I became attached.  The relationship propelled me to leave a marriage in which I was not happy. I had a tough time letting go of him for the two years and each time I was “waiting” for him to “hopefully” change his mind. That is what push-pull does unless  you are strong enough to stop it, which I was not.  So,  at some point, I had to have faith in the people who do love me, who have been telling me for two years this is not healthy and bad for my self-esteem, and I should leave him. So, this time, I told him not to contact me. And I know he will not. He is a passive guy. If he wants it over, then it needs to be over. And, he can’t contact me so I get my hopes up. So, I do miss him and am sad. Part of me wants to keep in touch with him, but I know if we do, the first time he reaches out to me, I will get my hopes up and then wonder when the next contact will come after that, which probably would only be around a few times per week and that will frustrate me. It is very hard to go backwards. Worse, we would end up sleeping with each other and the same cycle will happen again.

All of that aside, what he said to me when he was leaving last weekend was to me cruel and he finally (believe it or not) crossed a boundary.