Jonathan,

This reminds me of how a fat partner loses weight and now wants to try on their new found attractiveness/freedom by stepping out and abandoning their partner who supported them while they were fat and miserable.

Have you two tried couples counseling?  That would be a good place to start.

Is the house yours?  I would have a heart-to-heart on living arrangements for if the house is yours then she is taking advantage of you/you are allowing her to control the relationship.  You are tolerating her to dictate the sleeping arrangements as well as how the relationship is “done” down to the amount of touch.  She controlled the relationship while she was struggling and she is controlling how the relationship now that she is well.

To put it bluntly, you are letting her step all over you.  If you want to love yourself first then move her out, whether out of the bedroom or out of the house.  She is exploring her new found self and you are not part of that for now.  She wants that without you.  This is her exploration in independence, self reliance, and finding her joy.  You are not part of that.  Time to separate so you won’t be miserable and begging for her affection scraps.  She obviously does not want you in her life for now.

Mark