Mark,

I know it may sound a little hard to believe that it has been a year and I have a hard time opening up. But I also must mention that times when I have began opening up I have gotten the impression that my thoughts were not important, so I kind of kept them short and he started doing all the talking again. He has been vulnerable with me, he has told me that the relationship he had didn’t work because the girl was basically selfish and controlling and he didn’t like that. He does take responsibility but he states he wants to move forward. Despite their relationship he maintains a pretty frequent schedule with his kids. He is a awesome father as far as I can see he is always spending money, time, and taking them to do activities, he talks about them often and shows me pictures. It is not that I don’t know discernment or know how to be strong. I would definitely say I need to work on my confidence but I don’t have a problem opening up to other people so its not like its impossible. But in a way I guess you could say his being 9 years older than me and feeling like I’m being “read” makes me feel intimidated and as I have stated at times I felt as though he just wasn’t really listening to what I had to say and that turned me off from wanting to open up altogether. If you started to start opening up and that person started to fall asleep on you, that would turn any one off. After I have listened to him pour his heart off and its my turn and I already reluctant to do so that is the reaction I get. And when I brought it to his attention he did say he was tired he works long hours 3rd shift but I felt a lack of interest on more than one occasion so its created more pressure on me when I really want to.