Anita,

By that point, I was really fed up with him always cancelling which he knew so yeah I’m sure it came off as accusatory and at the time, I was upset as well. It wasn’t that he got upset that bothered me, it was the way he would show his anger that was a problem because that wasn’t the first time he has reacted that way.

We had completely opposite schedules. I has class during the day and by the time I was done, he had work until around 10pm. The only time we could hang out was after he got off of work but whenever he was supposed to come see me, he always had a reason as to why he couldn’t come. We would go weeks without seeing each other even though we only lived about 45 minutes from each other. We both had weekends off but he never really made plans with me on the weekends even when he said he would.

By talking this through with you (the break up and relationship), I feel like I’m starting to see that realistically it was never going to work. I think that maybe we brought out the worst in each other shown by the constant fighting, jealousy, and insecurities on both sides. He always seemed to have a problem with our age difference and I think that maybe he didn’t want to make it official because he was worried of what his friends and family might think about him dating someone who is only 19 and in college. Distance also always played a large role and was the center of most of our arguments. Towards the end, he would make comments like “the distance is just really hard”, “we don’t make time to see each other”, “the distance makes it hard” in regards to him being able to trust me.

I guess I’m just struggling to accept this because I really cared about him. As much as I believe that he deserves someone that he can have a real future with, it hurts me to think about him being happier with someone else. It was the first time I had felt so attached and had such strong feeling for someone. Even though we weren’t good for each other and there were many problems, the thought of him made me happy and it really hurts me to see him live with out me. This has all just been hard to process.

Cass