“She did wish me a happy birthday last month. So I will text her on her birthday and do the same. But besides that I will stop texting and let her initiate it.  It then if I do that and she doesn’t text then what?  Would that be because she is having feelings and is scared and it’s easier to forget or would it be because she doesn’t want anything more than friends?  OMG. This is so hard.”

If she stops texting you, I don’t believe it’s because she’s scared and it’s easier to forget. She’s a 47 year old woman with grown kids, a job, and a full life.  After juggling work, a marriage, raising kids, a divorce, health issues, etc., this situation wouldn’t exactly “scare” her, I’m thinking. She knows how you feel about her, and at her age she knows what she wants. If she wants to be with you, she’ll be with you, but it may take her some time. If she stops communicating with you, it’s because she still sees the “red flags” that she saw when you were together. I really like the idea of letting her initiate all future communication between you two.

As for the happy birthday text message for tomorrow, first, tell me, what did her “happy bday” text message last month to you say? The message you wrote above is beautiful. For me, if I’m completely in love with someone and he sends me that text message, I’m ecstatic. But if I’m decompressing after a “perfect storm of life drama” that included an ugly breakup, then that text message may be more than I want right now. You already sent her the earlier letter with her personal belongings and also the birthday card (you haven’t sent the bigger letter yet). I think I’d be cautious about overdoing this text message. I like “You are an amazing, strong, and beautiful woman and I will always be grateful that I got to share part of your life with you. Happy Birthday!” 

Just my 2 cents! 🙂

B