I feel like i’m a magnet for women with drama and problems.  maybe it’s what i crave on an unconscious level.

I don’t know.  I know i’m tired of hurting.  Wish this pain would just go away.

What’s screwed up is all it would take is one text or call from  my ex saying she wants to try… and i would feel like i’m on top of the world.

Maybe I’m destined to be alone and miserable.  Why is this so hard?  Why can’t “it” just happen.  I feel like such a P$$%Y.  Sorry bout my language, but that’s what if feels like.  I’ve tried counseling.  it really didn’t seem to help.  Maybe i’m just too stubborn.  I really don’t know.

Feelings defeated like this sucks.  I just want to feel happy again, make someone(her) happy again.  🙁