Hi Abubin,

Thank you for your kindness on the invitation for dinner. If I were closer, yes, I would accept. I want you to do something. I know you are having anxiety about not being with Debbie, which is very understandable. However, try to picture yourself with her now. I think you would be just as anxious. She is not the same person you are dreaming..thinking, hurting about. Not at all. I bet in 10 minutes after being with her, you would want to leave. Just think of different scenarios..would she be that same person you long for? Most likely not. People change, their personalities, moods, etc. They are no longer the people we used to know.

Once, I wanted an ex back so bad. I could not stop thinking of him..but it was the idea of him, I was missing, The idea of us buying homes we looked at together, what we would name our children, where we would go on our honeymoon, etc. Finally, a friend arranged it where her husband knew him..and we just “hapoened” to meet out. We saw each other. I asked if I could talk to him..but you know what? Something was missing. The giddyness, butterflies, spark, emotional connection..anything. I wondered what I saw in him in the first place. So what I am saying is Debbie is not the same. You may not have that “spark” or anything..anything in common anymore. Would like to hear your thoughts..

• This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Eliana.