Dear Robi1992:

I think the job in the coffee shop is a good idea and I hope you get the job. I don’t think moving to Germany so to live with your (ex?) girlfriend is a good idea. It has already been established in this relationship that fighting is part of it and you disappointing her is part of it.

This is not a good basis for a relationship. The very theme that you disappoint her (even when she makes a good point) is damaging to your well-being at this point. You don’t need this message, that you are a disappointment.

This emptiness you mentioned, it can be filled. Fill it in with the coffee shop job, aim at it anyway. Fill in that emptiness piece by piece, one at a time. Start with the job.

I wish you could attend psychotherapy (counseling) with a capable, empathetic therapist so to lower your distress as you fill in the emptiness, piece by piece. You are welcome to post here anytime you would like and I intend to reply, every time.

anita