Also, I did stop contacting her completely for a couple months this year. It was hard, I became more depressed but i got through it and made new friends who were more considerate and caring. I felt like these new friends were still missing something compared to her and went back. but in this time, I did feel much more content and peaceful and even happy. Part of it was I need to work on my own self worth and believe I deserve healthy friendships and am capable of making them