I was scared typing that out that no one would understand. No one will understand why I miss it and even I know I am replaying memories that will not come back. Thank you for understanding. I need to work on accepting that I can see her for who she really is now which I know one day I’ll be thankful for. It’s confusing to have the closest friend I’ve ever had turn out to be this way. I really thought we’d stick together through everything – we got matching tattoos a year ago. A year ago I would not have imagined feeling this way. but I know it’s time to grow on my own and appreciate new friendships for what they are instead of missing something I used to have. It was like my whole world just turned upside down this year when ex was arrested, i moved back home and no longer felt support from this friend either. I didn’t know who I was or who to go to and or what to do at all. But at the same time i think I have a chance for a beautiful transformation in finding myself and what I want in life now. for the first time I can find what makes ME happy and who I am