I have been living the life that is barely available to me Anita and frankly I am tired of fighting to at least have my empty life as opposed to nothing at all. I have to fight to deserve to be called mediocre.
Why is a basic good life not available to me? I am just as good as others. I don’t want to be catered to. I want to be thought of as just as good. It just annoys me when some who clearly don’t deserve it are catered to. I don’t demand I be catered to.
My life is not worth anything to anyone and I am supposed to be ok with that when sell outs and conceited bubbleheads are told how wonderful they are?
I appreciate you but I can not accept my life. That’s claiming defeat and I am not accepting defeat. I am not going to make things easy for the ones who look down on me.
I am really bad right now and I have to pretend I’m fine everywhere I go. I can’t find a peaceful place either. I wanted to get out of my room away from women catering to their boyfriends. I am truly amazed how reasonable people can be unreasonable when it comes to their relationships with other people. It’s like they become different people and I was never willing to be blind on behalf of having a relationship.
I am in a second place that is full of mindless chatter and noise from construction. I can not find peace anywhere. There is no where to go. I am tired of this. I have to suffer for what I fight for I guess. I am just tired of suffering.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 