Dear Anita,

To add. My whole life I went out of the way to extend myself. To think on behalf of others. Sure some may say well that’s what I chose to do. But I didn’t choose anything. The role I played as an adult was formed as a child. Was from my mother. She didn’t have appropriate mother abities and did not think appropriately for herself. So as I grew older and more intelligent for her and for myself. Thus I always thought about how other people should be living their life. Well it doesn’t end there. This “habit” edyrned to others. I am always overly interested in what my friends are going through and overly concerned about their issues. Almost like an obsession. Unable to disconnect. This isn’t altruism. This is an addiction. An addiction my mom placed. Something that she made me think was vital to be a good human. Help fix her. Well I can’t fix her. I can’t fix anyone. First of all I can hardly fix myself. The more connected I am with all of you the less I am with me. So it’s not my duty.

I am not a super friend. It’s more that I am super obsessed with being involved. Because my life was based on others. My worth was based on others. My mother taught me that my life is nothing unless it is about others. She taught me not to respect my sole self but only in relation to what is around it. What is associated with it. Well respect is a baseline. With or without things attached. That’s it. Respect is no strings attached.