Dear Anita,

No reply from Toby as of yet. Such is the way. Such is the way. I don’t know what to say. It’s hard when I feel like there’s a special or honest connection with someone, and then its lost. Again, all I can say is, such is the way, such is the way.

It’s 5.17pm in Bristol. I’ve been in bed all day, as I did a 15 hour shift yesterday, so I’m exhausted. It’s on days like these, where I’m exhausted, feeling like I’m not worth replying to (etc.) that I have to fight my mental health from taking me down depression alley. Trying to remind myself of all the lessons I’ve been learning recently, and all the inner strength I have to make my life what it is on my own. I feel like, when you’re someone who has to teach yourself that, or unlearn the idea that someone else is responsible for your happiness – it really does feel like the impossible.

Cat