My ex and kids stayed two more days alone at my parent’s house. The day I left, she changed her whattsapp profile picture ( her with our two boys) for a picture of her and new boyfriend.

But my mother has her as a contact, she saw the picture but doesn’t ‘beat around the bush’. She told her that it was not nice from her to expose that picture since she was staying at her place and that she likes her like a daughter.

My ex apologizes and changed the picture. They had an extended chat, sharing their point of view.

They came back today. She told me about the incident so it was a good oportunity to speak. Only chitchat since they arrived.

At first she told me that she realized that moving here was a big mistake for her.

Then I explained to her that I never pressured her, beg her or threantened her. That she took the decision on her own. 14000 kilometers from me.

That the point. Since we split, I managed to eep my calm always. I never spied on her or tried to ruin her new relationship. That what I told her. I like her so much that I was ready to let her go so she could be happy, even with another person.

I was hurt but for the sake of my kids and her I never behaved outrageously. I did create all her social accounts and have access to her phone but I never preyed or spied on her.

As well I explained to her that she jumped from a relationship to another directly. That she dind’t took time to grieve, that now she is experiencing the loss I went through more than a year before. I was upset, but never told her, when she started dating right away after we split. I guess that was her way to deal with the situation.

I, on the other hand, was not looking for another relationship right now. I wanted to concentrate on myself, my kids, my skills and wanted to become a better person.

Then she told me little about her new relationship, how great her new boyfriend behave with her, how much my kids like him…

I ensure her that wanting her and the kids to France was not  part of a big plan to have her split with her new boyfriend. Like a revenge of some sort. I told her that I knew what she was leaving behind and that I would never have asked to do so if I wasn’t sure that I was better for our kids future.

And it’s true.

Finally I asked her what she told her new boyfriend when she left. And you have to understand that she always had trouble confronting people. Maybe she is too nice, maybe too weak… For exemple she never really told me she was starting to date a person, even if we were still living under the same room, back in Argentina.. My older son told me first and it was painful to learn it from him. Not really nice to hear him saying ” last night, when you were working, a friend of mum came home to visit her”…

So that’s why I asked her what she told her new boyfriend before leaving because I know she is not the most straightforward person. She told him that she would go to France few months to see how things would turn out. Well in her language that means she didn’t tell him anything and that the guy is waiting for her to come back.

And I was right because she admitted that he wrote to her about having to move to a new house, and that he wanted to rent a bigger place for when she will come back, alone, or with the kids. And that he was asking and asking again the date of her return.

I gently explained to her that it was a way for him to pressure her, she agreed. And told me that she will ask him to look for house for himself alone and that ,if she comes back, they will look for something bigger.

Maybe little by little she will get tired of him being needy and pressuring her… But for now I don’t put him down. I don’t want to become the villain, their common enemy.

So for now I wait and see, on monday my kids will start school in France. I am sure they will love it, and she will realize what’s better for them.

Nearly one year since my first post. I was still in Argentina, dazed and confuzed.

One year later I learned how to ride a motorcycle, a car, I learned intermediate Chinese, made new friends, learned a new job, became less sellfish, learned how to seized the moment, become a better person, a more loving father and France won another World Cup.

But the best part is that I haven’t turned into an hopeless and bitter person.

And  I want to thank all of you, especially Anita, for it.