I understand there are certainly patterns that have been present since childhood. But I don’t know what to do to resolve the situation with my parents anymore than i already have? I don’t talk to them hardly at all. I might check in with them a couple times per month just to say I’m alive, but I don’t take care of my mom in any way, and I don’t talk to my dad nearly at all unless I’m borrowing a tool.

My depression at least subjectively feels like it’s present because I don’t like myself, and I don’t have any hope for anything changing, I’ve been on this hamster wheel of self hatred for years, and it’s hard to try to convince myself I’m worthy when no one is willing to be close to me.