Valora, i’m trying to forget those thoughts when they hit.  Honestly it feels like they are coming more and more now though.  I don’t know what’s going on with my head.  I think  i have cried everyday this week.  twice one day.

It’s likely they’re coming more and more because you’re still very heavily focusing on her. You’re constantly thinking about how you reacted or what you did or what you should’ve done or what she did, that you aren’t giving yourself a chance to let the thoughts go because you ruminate on them when they come in.  You are also clearly frustrated with how you’re feeling, which means you’re still fighting the thoughts and you are the one who is allowing it to consume you. You don’t have to do that. You just seriously have to try to relax and let the thoughts go out as soon as they come.  Literally have a self-dialogue of “hey, there’s another one of those thoughts. That’s okay. I’m just going to let that thought go and focus my attention elsewhere” and then start thinking of something else. It is a psychological fact that we can only pay attention to or truly focus on one thing at a time, so if you shift your focus intensely toward something else, an activity, a TV show, a really good book that interests you, etc., every time you think of her, switching to something else, those thoughts WILL slow down, but you can’t fight them either.  Like I said, let them come and go like a stream passing through a tunnel.

How do you let go of those kind of regrets?

You let them go by forgiving yourself, realizing that doing things differently likely would’ve changed nothing, realize this happened because you had an important lesson to learn and moving forward. You cannot change the pass, so regrets serve absolutely no purpose other than to drive you insane. You have to learn to let go. I think it might help you to read some blogs or books or anything on learning HOW to let go until you find something that works for you. We cannot live in the past, and you will never get over this until you can learn how to let the past go.