It’s so frustrating!!!!! I go online to find help. I can’t find help anywhere. Every article tells me it’s fine to be a single woman. Yeah if that is what you want, yes, I agree, if that is what you want THEN it is fine….but what if it is not what you want?

I have been informed since day one that I am to be alone. No one has ever been concerned that I’m alone. Just trying to get me to accept it. I either received no help at all or had people pushing me towards men who weren’t right for me or men who only saw my worth physically.

I can’t stand injustice. When I see spoiled people in this country getting their every whim fulfilled while others in the world are treated poorly it makes me angry.

I don’t understand it. I was a pretty girl. I had everything. I had everything. I don’t understand why no one showed an interest in me.

Don’t tell me how I should feel or what I should think. These articles act like I am single by choice. Some are but I’m not. No one ever asks or looks deeper to find out why something is the way it is. I can’t fix a problem if I don’t know what is wrong and I am on a lost quest for an answer.

Every article talks about how it’s fine to be alone. It IS fine if that is what makes you happy but for people trying to fix what they view as a problem…it’s not helpful.

I was a pretty, talented, friendly and bright girl who started out life not expected and then being continually rejected…sometimes with much disgust in thier voice or a roll of the eyes.

If I didn’t comply with what boys wanted they would turn on me and made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of any praise.

I have tried to get help but I am tired of being told it is ok to be single when it is NOT OK for ME to be single. They speak to me likes it an irreversible problem that I have to deal with.

I am good at researching and I can find an answer to many problems but I can not find an answer to this one.

In these articles people bring up how they are talked to sometimes about their singlehood but the most painful thing for me is that people, family never ask me why I am alone or feel as if there should be any other way. I seem to run into a few women in my life… mostly older women who are completely put off by me and seem to revel in me not getting ahead or receiving friendship or life of any kind.  It’s very strange. I can not be myself around them because they try to knock me down. These are women old enough to be my mother. They also treat women younger than me like they are worthy of attention from other people, worthy of praise, promotion…it’s like they all represent the mother in “Ever After” thinking only her daughters are worthy of attention and Danielle must be in an obsessive way kept from ever being happy. She can not be happy and I feel like I have run into that mother in every situation in life I have been in. Like it’s thier job that my self esteem.remain low and that I am never to think I am worthy. She’s right there making sure I do not experience happiness because my happiness can’t happen.

If you have ever seen the movie Ever After I can definately relate to the lead charactor of Danielle played by Drew Barrymore. The anguish she feels in that movie especially whe at the ball and she is attacked..that’s how I feel. Watch that scene and then imagine someone telling that charactor well the way you are treated is all your fault. Ella is outspoken and it does cause her grief. That is certainly true.

I am sorry I am rambling but I can only talk about how I am feeling and my emotions regarding my problem because I have tried to think about it logically but it makes even less sense to me because there us no logical reason I am by myself all the time.

Ironically the only people who SEE ME are married men. A few rare women and also ironically men who are much younger than me seem to see my worth as a person.

I’m so tired. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so tired of crying. I’m so tired of feeling lonely. I am so tired of not finding the answer to my problem.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Lisa.