I know, can’t dwell on the could of, should of, what if things.  Can’t help it when those thoughts run through my brain.  Then i will think, just need to be patient.  I need to wait her relationship with him to fail and then maybe…   I hate that i think those things so freaking much.  I seriously do have a problem.  I really do need to take charge of my own life and quit worrying about the past or the future.

John, I really think you should consider going back to counseling with a cognitive behavioral therapist, because it would really help for you to work on retraining your brain. I personally know it’s a struggle and I still struggle sometimes too, but counselors can help you find the tools that will work for you so that you feel better a majority of the time.

Otherwise, the bottom line pretty much is that we can’t control how long it takes for us to get over someone, but we CAN control our suffering to a degree, and you are definitely suffering far more than you need to be. The questions you keep asking yourself are ones that just can’t be answered, and trust me, my mind wants to go there sometimes with my ex, too, but I’ve learned to redirect my thinking as quickly as I can when that starts because I know it’s a slippery slope. I think once your girlfriend is home more, that will help, too, because you will have a little more freedom, but I think counseling with someone who could really help you to retrain your line of thinking would do you a world of good.