There has to be some situations where there is no more to see and seeing a situation correctly but I agree that there are many more situations than not where there is more to see.

I am sorry for your experience with your mother. I understand what you are saying by thinking everyone is just like the person or people who wronged you or hurt you.

I can think of the person who used me, the one who was always angry at me, the one who stayed out of my life, the one who I couldn’t depend on, the one who made me feel bad about myself, the ones who humiliated me, the ones who rejected me and compared me unfavourably to someone else…Everyone I meet are one of these people and I react to them the way I would react to them when I first experienced the hurt they caused me.

I am stuck

I am immature.

Again I am sorry for your experience. Back then it just felt like everyone I came in contact with rejected me, put up with me or was annoyed with me until I just decided to stay in my room as much as I possibly could.

I never matured. I was forced to go out and make money in my extremely immature state and I am not surprised by all the hurt and bumps in the road I endured. I am also not surprised at what others had to endure from me. Having pmdd only magnified my unfortunate situation but ultimately my problem was that I was/ am immature and stuck possibly in the age I decided to drop out of life. Around 11 or 12. I am mentally healthy in that I know what is real and what isn’t which had probaly contributed to my sadness. If I was delusional really I don’t think I would cry as much as I do or seek help as much as I do. I am not emotionally healthy though. I am quite immature and that has contributed to me not knowing how to really help myself physically or emotionally.

The reality is I do not have the slightest clue how to start a relationship let alone maintain one.

Socially I believe I see things clearly on a human level, Philosophically and spiritually, I am up for anything but emotionally I am not seeing clearly at all.

At the risk of taking a backward steps it did feel overwhelming when I was younger. It did feel that I was just an annoyance. The overall feeling, I can give “moments” when I felt loved but overall I felt like I showed up to a party I wasn’t invited to.

Thank you Anita,

Lisa

If ypu need clarity on anything let me know? I know what I want to say in my head but not sure if it came across well in my post.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Lisa.