Dear Anita,
I wonder if you have read my second post – if not, read please before this reply. As I want to speak to you overall, and not just about my sister.
And YES, you have had the opportunity to communicate with her. This rings in my ears daily for the last 2 weeks. I even said it out loud to my husband many times, and most recently last night – something along the lines of,” even Anita (who has not met her) believes that I can not help her, and perhaps she is not “helpable” and that she does have many qualities like my mother – that she too, may never truly get better.”
I don’t mean to misquote you, or to assume that is exactly what you meant – but I do know it was along that wavelength and a HUGE epiphany for me. Also that my efforts are in vain – you mentioned my consistent investment and efforts enable her, they do not help her. Just like my mother, it is all in vain. It is simply useless perhaps! It leaves me exhausted and depleted – and leads her to perhaps some understanding (transient) but no the fruits do NOT outweigh the labor for anyone.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 