Yeah, 6-8 months is about the standard time frame for rebounds, from what I’ve heard, so that’s right in line with it.  It’s once the magic of the “honeymoon phase” wears off and real life creeps in. When you have a better connection, you’re able to better deal with the real life stuff together… just like you know that you would’ve felt better about doing this stuff for your ex (although the son would be hard for anyone to handle in any situation). This is also why I think that if your girlfriend was a true match for you, it wouldn’t have mattered that your ex contacted you. You would’ve already had what you wanted with your girlfriend. But you didn’t, and that’s why your ex contacting you threw you into a tailspin. Does that make sense?

I know how you feel about the contact with your ex making you feel worse, though. The longest I’ve gone without some sort of contact with mine was about a month and a half. haha. One of us is always messaging the other about something. And it does set me back a little bit, too, so I get it, but I’m also single. If I were with someone who I was happy with and who gave me that feeling of “home,” my ex’s contact would not set me back like it does because I’d already have what he could give me. So it would make no difference to me. And the same goes for you… if you had someone who gives you those same feelings (and there are more women out there that will), your ex contacting you will have no power over you.

I can also tell you this….. my ex was in a similar situation to your girlfriend. He had 2 kids with his ex-wife and was absolutely getting reaped for child support. Did not make enough to survive on, didn’t have a car most of the time, so I had to front a lot of things, bought a lot of the food, let him drive my car to and from work, etc. He felt terrible about it, wished he could be the provider, and would help me any way he could. But you know what? I couldn’t have cared less about having to cover that stuff because I absolutely loved him to death. He was home to me and that was all I needed and all of the struggles were worth it just because I was so happy to be with him for who he was. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if our struggle went on for years as long as we loved each other and I could get his glorious cuddles. haha…. I’m sure you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about and I’m pointing this out because…. I think you should stop being so hard on yourself for how you feel because it’s likely you would’ve felt this way eventually no matter what, contact from the ex or no contact, struggles or no struggles…. for the right person, you will do almost anything.

Aside from that, I hope she can get her son into counseling soon. There are lots of techniques to deal with anger. Bbipolar is only if he has manic phases and depressive phases, not really so much anger… but there is something there that is causing the anger and that’s where counseling would be a HUGE help.

How about this…. when you remove the financial circumstances and your feelings for your ex… how is your actual compatibility with your girlfriend? You’ve said before that you don’t like her drinking, her kids don’t act the greatest, and when you guys are in high-stress situations (which ALL couples will be in from time to time, no way to avoid that), you guys fight constantly. Then there’s your different attitudes towards money and your girlfriend’s codependency. Those are all negative things that have nothing to do with your ex or your girlfriend’s financial situation, so they would be there either way, no matter what. Do you have enough other big things in common that would counteract those negatives? Or do the negatives outweigh the positives? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you would’ve ended up feeling this way either way… it might’ve taken longer and the path to your current feelings might’ve been different, but the end result would be the same.  If you weigh the compatibility and you think you WOULD be compatible if the financial situation got better, then who knows.