How about this…. when you remove the financial circumstances and your feelings for your ex… how is your actual compatibility with your girlfriend? You’ve said before that you don’t like her drinking, her kids don’t act the greatest, and when you guys are in high-stress situations (which ALL couples will be in from time to time, no way to avoid that), you guys fight constantly. Then there’s your different attitudes towards money and your girlfriend’s codependency. Those are all negative things that have nothing to do with your ex or your girlfriend’s financial situation, so they would be there either way, no matter what. Do you have enough other big things in common that would counteract those negatives? Or do the negatives outweigh the positives? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you would’ve ended up feeling this way either way… it might’ve taken longer and the path to your current feelings might’ve been different, but the end result would be the same.  If you weigh the compatibility and you think you WOULD be compatible if the financial situation got better, then who knows.

When it’s just me and my girlfriend, no money issues or kid issues.  We do get along great.  We have fun together.  Her drinking did bother me, but she has gotten a lot better bout that.  I do feel like there are little things that do bother me though.  I don’t know if it’s just because of all of the other issues right now and those just add to it or if we are just not compatible.  As far as big things in common.  We don’t have a lot.  I think a huge problem i do have is that i subconsciously compare her to my ex.  With the little things.  I could easily list 50 things off the top of my head right now that I absolutely loved about my ex(in fact my ex’s and mine valentines day -only 3 months after we met- I had a custom valentines day card made that listed 50 things I loved about her.), whereas with my current girlfriend, it would be hard to come up with a dozen.  Sometimes I feel like i have more things that i dislike than more that I do like.

I don’t know how i put myself in this position.  I feel horrible about it everyday.  I just don’t know how to handle it right now though.  I know you say “rip off the bandaid”.  But she is in no position for that.  If she was supporting herself and her kids and had the resources to move out on her own, it would be a lot easier.  I have this incredible guilt and because of that I feel like I need to support her and her kids until she can make it.

I have so many mixed feelings and emotions every day.  Like i’ve said.  I should have never started dating again.  It was irresponsible and reckless of me to do.  Now i’ve put other peoples lives in the mix of being hurt and more.

I feel like every day I have guilt, pain, and remorse from my past relationship and this one.  I am trying my best to be positive and push through though.