I’m glad you guys had a good weekend! You’re right, though. If you can’t make things work in “real life,” then that means she isn’t right for you. You can always try though but she is going to have to get a handle on her kids. Big time. Like real tough love big changes, not allowing them to act the way they do, getting them any sort of help they need for any behavior issues, that kind of thing. Or you will both be miserable.

If you think about it though… when you take away the pressures of real life and go have a fun weekend, you can have fun with literally almost anyone that you get along with. That’s why everything feels so great when people first start dating, whether they’re dating the right person for them or not. They’re just off having fun adventures together. It’s how you feel and how you react together during the real life pressures that matters because that is what is happening the majority of the time.

As for your ex, it’s also possible that she’d been acting so weird because of cognitive dissonance. She made a decision and she’s trying to find reasons why she should stick with that decision even if/when she feels differently. I wonder if that’s what’s going on with my ex sometimes too when he’ll message me to tell me something and then just stop talking in the middle of a conversation.

I hope you’re able to gain some more clarity on things, and talking with your girlfriend would be a good idea, even if it’s just to stress that there need to be some BIG changes made right away or you two will not work for much longer. You should set your boundaries there and stick to them. After that, it will be up to her to make those changes and they will be beneficial to her either way, too… and if she can’t make those changes or if it still doesn’t feel right, it’d be a good idea to just break up so you each can find your match.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Valora.